The bookie at the racetrack registered complete surprise when a horse stepped up to the window, and asked to bet on himself.
“What's the matter?” snorted the horse. “Are you astonished that I can talk?”
“Not at all,” said the man. “I'm surprised that you think you can win.”
The young man at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning nineteen and he couldn't decide whether to give her a dozen roses or nineteen roses -- one for each year of her life.
The woman put aside her business judgment and advised,
"She may be your nineteen-year-old girlfriend now,
but someday she could be your fifty-year-old wife."
The young man bought a dozen roses.